Metta meditation
The Pali word 'Metta' is commonly
translated in English as 'loving-kindness.' Metta signifies
friendship and non-violence as well as "a strong wish for the happiness of
others." Though it refers to many seemingly disparate ideas,Metta is
in fact a very specific form of love -- a caring for another independent of all
self-interest -- and thus is likened to one's love for one's child or parent.
Understandably, this energy is often difficult to describe with words; however,
in the practice of Metta meditation, one recites specific
words and phrases in order to evoke this "boundless warm-hearted
feeling." The strength of this feeling is not limited to or by
family, religion, or social class. Indeed, Metta is a
tool that permits one's generosity and kindness to be applied to all beings
and, as a consequence, one finds true happiness in another person's happiness,
no matter who the individual is.
The Practice
The hard work and repetition required of an
individual engaged in Mettapractice endows the four universal
wishes (to live happily and to be free from hostility, affliction, and
distress), with a very personal inner love, and by so doing, it has the power
for personal transformation. Although serious practitioners of Metta meditation
offer Metta for an hour or more morning and evening, you may
wish to begin by offering Metta for just 10-15 minutes each
day. You may do your practice as a formal sitting meditation or
while walking (preferably without destination). You may also choose to
integrate your Metta practice with daily chores.
To begin, take a few moments to quiet your
mind and focus your attention on the experience of loving
kindness. You will begin by offering Metta to
yourself. If distracting thoughts arise, acknowledge them, make a mental
note to return to them after your Metta practice, but quickly
move them aside to maintain concentration.
Recite the following phrases to yourself at a
pace that keeps you focused and alert.
1. May I be safe and protected.
2. May I be peaceful and happy.
3. May I be healthy and strong.
4. May I have ease of well being (and
accept all the conditions of the world)
Continue reciting the phrases in the first
person.
Then when you are comfortable, try
offering Metta to a beneficiary, someone who supports you, who
has always "been on your side." Forming visualizations of this
person while reciting the phrases can be helpful; for example, imagining this
beneficiary as a child or grandparent, can assist in 'opening the heart.'
1. May s/he be safe and protected.
2. May s/he be peaceful and happy.
3. May s/he be healthy and strong.
4. May s/he have ease of well being
(and accept all the conditions of the world)
Next offer Metta to a loved
one.
1. May s/he be safe and protected.
2. May s/he be peaceful and happy.
3. May s/he be healthy and strong.
4. May s/he have ease of well being
(and accept all the conditions of the world)
Once your Metta flows easily
to a loved one, begin to include in your practice one or more of the following
categories of persons to whom you will offerMetta:
- A
close friend.
- A
neutral person (someone you neither like nor dislike)
- A
difficult person (no need to start with the most difficult person, but
someone whom you have a distaste for)
- All
beings, individuals, personalities, creatures (choose whichever word to
describe all 'beings' that you please; it may be helpful to break up this
category into subcategories; i.e., all men, and then all
women, all enlightened ones, and then, all unenlightened ones, all beings
who are happy, and then all beings who are both happy and suffering, and
all beings who are primarily suffering.
1. May s/he/it be safe and protected.
2. May s/he/it be peaceful and happy.
3. May s/he/it be healthy and strong.
4. May s/he/it have ease of well being
(and accept all the conditions of the world)
Although one traditionally starts by
offering Metta for 'oneself ' and ends by offering Metta to
'all beings,' please do not expect to be able immediately to offer these
phrases to all beings from the onset of your practice. We all struggle to offer
this unconditional love to many people in our lives, and it is truly difficult
to include everyone, though this aspiration is reasonable if we are committed
to Metta practice. Between these two 'categories'
-- oneself and all beings -- one should choose freely from any category or any
number of categories. Categorical divisions serve only as tools to
keep Metta from overwhelming someone new to the practice. They
should not create restrictions within the practice once one gains familiarity
with it.
In truth, any one individual may fit into a
number of different categories. This ambiguity should be expected and
embraced. Awareness of our feelings toward another is always the first
step in converting this energy into loving-kindness. Noticing a feeling of
aversion, or indecisiveness, when evoking the image of a particular person in
your practice does not mean you are failing to offer Metta.
Rather, you are leaping forward in your practice. According to Buddhist
teachings, the worst plague a human being can suffer is one that s/he cannot
identify, or does not even know exists. Similarly, aversions (and
cravings) that lie below the level of conscious awareness fuel habit patterns
of the mind that inevitably lead to suffering. So, as you peel away the layers
of self, allow any negative emotions to arise, so that you can actively replace
them with Metta, a loving-kindness.
May you be safe and protected.
May you be peaceful and happy.
May you be healthy and strong.
May you have ease of well being. (and accept
all the conditions of the world)
Resources for readers interested in learning
more about Metta:
Loving-Kindness. The
Revolutionary Art of Happiness by Sharon Salzberg (1995). Boston: Shambhala
Facets of Metta
by Sharon Salzberg
A pearl
goes up for auction
No one has enough,
so the pearl buys itself
-- Rumi
Love exists in itself, not relying on owning or being owned. Like
the pearl, love can only buy itself, because love is not a matter of currency
or exchange. No one has enough to buy it but everyone has enough to cultivate
it. Metta reunites us with what it means to be alive and unbound.
Researchers once gave a plant to every resident of a nursing home.
They told half of these elderly people that the plants were theirs to care for
-- they had to pay close attention to their plants' needs for water and sunlight,
and they had to respond carefully to those needs. The researchers told the
other half of the residents that their plants were theirs to enjoy but that
they did not have to take any responsibility for them; the nursing staff would
care for the plants.
At the end of a year, the researchers compared the two groups of
elders. The residents who had been asked to care for their plants were living
considerably longer than the norm, were much healthier, and were more oriented
towards and connected to their world. The other residents, those who had plants
but did not have to stay responsive to them, simply reflected the norms for
people their age in longevity, health, alertness, and engagement with the
world.
This study shows, among other things, the enlivening power of
connection, of love, of intimacy. This is the effect that metta can have on our
lives. But when I heard about the study, I also reflected on how often we
regard intimacy as a force between ourselves and something outside ourselves --
another person, or even a plant -- and how rarely we consider the force of
being intimate with ourselves, with our own inner experience. How rarely do we
lay claim to our own lives and feel connected to ourselves!
A way to discover intimacy with ourselves and all of life is to
live with integrity, basing our lives on a vision of compassionate nonharming.
When we dedicate ourselves to actions that do not hurt ourselves or others, our
lives become all of one piece, a "seamless garment" with nothing
separate or disconnected in the spiritual reality we discover.
In order to live with integrity, we must stop fragmenting and
compartmentalizing our lives. Telling lies at work and expecting great truths
in meditation is nonsensical. Using our sexual energy in a way that harms ourselves
or others, and then expecting to know transcendent love in another arena, is
mindless. Every aspect of our lives is connected to every other aspect of our
lives. This truth is the basis for an awakened life. When we live with
integrity, we further enhance intimacy with ourselves by being able to rejoice,
taking active delight in our actions. Rejoicing opens us tremendously,
dissolving our barriers, thereby enabling intimacy to extend to all of life.
Joy has so much capacity to eliminate separation that the Buddha said,
"Rapture is the gateway to nirvana."
The enlivening force itself is rapture. It brightens our vitality,
our gratitude, and our love. We begin to develop rapture by rejoicing in our
own goodness. We reflect on the good things we have done, recollecting times
when we have been generous, or times when we have been caring. Perhaps we can
think of a time when it would have been easy to hurt somebody, or to tell a
lie, or to be dismissive, yet we made the effort not to do that. Perhaps we can
think of a time when we gave something up in a way that freed our mind and
helped someone else. Or perhaps we can think of a time when we have overcome
some fear and reached out to someone. These reflections open us to a wellspring
of happiness that may have been hidden from us before.
Contemplating the goodness within ourselves is a classical
meditation, done to bring light, joy, and rapture to the mind. In contemporary
times this practice might be considered rather embarrassing, because so often
the emphasis is on all the unfortunate things we have done, all the disturbing
mistakes we have made. Yet this classical reflection is not a way of increasing
conceit. It is rather a commitment to our own happiness, seeing our happiness
as the basis for intimacy with all of life. It fills us with joy and love for
ourselves and a great deal of self-respect.
Significantly, when we do metta practice, we begin by directing
metta toward ourselves. This is the essential foundation for being able to
offer genuine love to others. When we truly love ourselves, we want to take
care of others, because that is what is most enriching, or nourishing, for us.
When we have a genuine inner life, we are intimate with ourselves and intimate
with others. The insight into our inner world allows us to connect to
everything around us, so that we can see quite clearly the oneness of all that
lives. We see that all beings want to be happy, and that this impulse unites
us. We can recognize the rightness and beauty of our common urge towards
happiness, and realize intimacy in this shared urge.
If we are practicing metta and we cannot see the goodness in
ourselves or in someone else, then we reflect on that fundamental wish to be
happy that underlies all action. "Just as I want to be happy, all beings
want to be happy." This reflection gives rise to openness, awareness, and
love. As we commit to these values, we become embodiments of a lineage that
stretches back through beginningless time. All good people of all time have
wanted to express openness, awareness, and love. With every phrase of metta, we
are declaring our alignment with these values.
From this beginning, metta practice proceeds in a very structured
way and specific way. After we have spent some time directing metta to
ourselves, we then move on to someone who has been very good to us, for whom we
feel gratitude and respect. In the traditional terminology, this person is
known as a "benefactor." Later we move to someone who is a beloved
friend. It is relatively easy to direct lovingkindness to these categories of
beings (we say beings rather than people to include the possibility of animals
in these categories.) After we have established this state of connection, we
move on to those that it may be harder to direct lovingkindness toward. In this
way we open up our limits and extend our capacity for benevolence.
Thus, next we direct lovingkindness to someone whom we feel
neutral toward, someone for whom we feel neither great liking nor disliking.
This is often an interesting time in the practice, because it may be difficult
to find somebody for whom we have no instantaneous judgment. If we can find
such a neutral person, we direct metta toward them.
After this, we are ready for the next step -- directing metta
toward someone with whom we have experienced conflict, someone toward whom we
feel lack of forgiveness, or anger, or fear. In the Buddhist scriptures this
person is somewhat dramatically known as "the enemy." This is a very
powerful stage in the practice, because the enemy, or the person with whom we
have difficulty stands right at the division between the finite and the
infinite radiance of love. At this point, conditional love unfolds into
unconditional love. Here dependent love can turn to the flowering of an
independent love that is not based upon getting what we want or having our
expectations met. Here we learn that the inherent happiness of love is not
compromised by likes and dislikes, and thus, like the sun, it can shine on
everything. This love is truly boundless. It is born out of freedom, and it is
offered freely.
Through the power of this practice, we cultivate an equality of
loving feeling toward ourselves and all beings. There was a time in Burma when
I was practicing metta intensively. I had taken about six weeks to go through
all the different categories: myself, benefactor, friend, neutral person, and
enemy. After I had spent these six weeks doing the metta meditation all day
long, my teacher, U Pandita, called me into his room and said, "Say you
were walking in the forest with your benefactor, your friend, your neutral person,
and your enemy. Bandits come up and demand that you choose one person in your
group to be sacrificed. Which one would you choose to die?"
I was shocked at U Pandita's question. I sat there and looked deep
into my heart, trying to find a basis from which I could choose. I saw that I
could not feel any distinction between any of those people, including myself.
Finally I looked at U Pandita and replied, "I couldn't choose; everyone
seems the same to me."
U Pandita then asked, "You wouldn't choose your enemy?" I
thought a minute and then answered, "No, I couldn't."
Finally U Pandita asked me, "Don't you think you should be
able to sacrifice yourself to save the others?" He asked the question as
if more than anything else in the world he wanted me to say, "Yes, I'd
sacrifice myself." A lot of conditioning rose up in me -- an urge to
please him, to be "right" and to win approval. But there was no way I
could honestly say "yes," so I said, "No, I can't see any
difference between myself and any of the others." He simply nodded in
response, and I left.
Later I was reading the Visuddhi Magga, one of the great
commentarial works of Buddhist literature which describes different meditation
techniques and the experiences of practicing these techniques. In the section
on metta meditation, I came to that very question about the bandits. The answer
I had given was indeed considered the correct one for the intensive practice of
metta.
Of course, in different life situations many different courses of
action might be appropriate. But the point here is that metta does not mean
that we denigrate ourselves in any situation in order to uphold other people's
happiness. Authentic intimacy is not brought about by denying our own desire to
be happy in unhappy deference to others, nor by denying others in narcissistic
deference to ourselves. Metta means equality, oneness, wholeness. To truly walk
the Middle Way of the Buddha, to avoid the extremes of addiction and
self-hatred, we must walk in friendship with ourselves as well as with all beings.
When we have insight into our inner world and what brings us
happiness, then wordlessly, intuitively, we understand others. As though there
were no longer a barrier defining the boundaries of our caring, we can feel
close to others' experience of life. We see that when we are angry, there is an
element of pain in the anger that is not different from the pain that others
feel when they are angry. When we feel love there is a distinct and special joy
in that feeling. We come to know that this is the nature of love itself, and
that other beings filled with love experience of this same joy.
In practicing metta we do not have to make a certain feeling
happen. In fact, during the practice we see that we feel differently at
different times. Any momentary emotional tone is far less relevant than
considerable power of intention we harness as we say these phrases. As we
repeat, "May I be happy; may all beings be happy," we are planting
seeds by forming this powerful intention in the mind. The seed will bear fruit in
its own time.
When I was practicing metta intensively in Burma, at times when I
repeated the metta phrases, I would picture myself in a wide open field
planting seeds. Doing metta we plant the seeds of love, knowing that nature
will take its course and in time those seeds will bear fruit. Some seeds will
come to fruition quickly, some slowly, but our work is simply to plant the
seeds. Every time we form the intention in the mind for our own happiness or
for the happiness of others, we are doing our work; we are channeling the
powerful energies of our own minds. Beyond that, we can trust the laws of
nature to continually support the flowering of our love. As Pablo Neruda says:
Perhaps the earth can teach us, as when everything seems dead in
winter and later proves to be alive.
When we started our retreat center, Insight Meditation Society, in
1975, many of us there decided to do a self-retreat for a month to inaugurate
the center. I planned to do metta for the entire month. This was before I'd
been to Burma, and it would be my first opportunity to do intensive and
systematic metta meditation. I had heard how it was done in extended practice,
and I planned to follow that schedule. So the first week I spent directing
lovingkindness towards myself. I felt absolutely nothing. It was the dreariest,
most boring week I had known in some time. I sat there saying, "May I be
happy, may I be peaceful," over and over again with no obvious result.
Then, as it happened, someone we knew in the community had a
problem, and a few of us had to leave the retreat suddenly. I felt even worse,
thinking, "Not only did I spend this week doing metta and getting nothing
from it, but I also never even got beyond directing metta towards myself. So on
top of everything else, I was really selfish."
I was in a frenzy getting ready to leave. As I was hurriedly
getting everything together in my bathroom, I dropped a jar. It shattered all
over the floor. I still remember my immediate response: "You are really a
klutz, but I love you." And then I thought, "Wow! Look at that.
Something did happen in this week of practice."
So the intention is enough. We form the intention in our mind for
our happiness and the happiness of all. This is different from struggling to
fabricate a certain feeling, to create it out of our will, to make it happen.
We just settle back and plant the seeds without worrying about the immediate
result. That is our work. If we do our work, then manifold benefits will surely
come.
Fortunately, the Buddha was characteristically precise about what
those benefits include. He said that the intimacy and caring that fill our
hearts as the force of lovingkindness develops will bring eleven particular
advantages:
1) You will sleep easily. 2) You will wake easily. 3) You will
have pleasant dreams. 4) People will love you. 5) Devas [celestial beings] and
animals will love you. 6) Devas will protect you. 7) External dangers [poisons,
weapons, and fire] will not harm you. 8) Your face will be radiant. 9) Your
mind will be serene. 10) You will die unconfused. 11) You will be reborn in
happy realms.
People doing formal metta practice often memorize these eleven
benefits and recite them to themselves regularly. Reminding ourselves of the
fruit of our intention and effort can bring a lot of faith and rapture,
sustaining us through those inevitable times when it seems as if the practice
is not "getting anywhere." When we consider each of these benefits,
we can see more fully how metta revolutionizes our lives.
When we steep our hearts in lovingkindness, we are able to sleep
easily, to awaken easily, and to have pleasant dreams. To have self-respect in
life, to walk through this life with grace and confidence, means having a
commitment to nonharming and to loving care. If we do not have these things, we
can neither rest nor be at peace; we are always fighting against ourselves. The
feelings we create by harming are painful both for ourselves and for others.
Thus harming leads to guilt, tension, and complexity. Sleeping easily, waking
easily, But living a clear and simple life, free from resentment, fear, and
guilt, extends into our sleeping, dreaming and waking.
The next benefit the Buddha pointed out is that if we practice
metta we will receive in return the love of others. This is not a heartless
calculating motivation, but rather a recognition that the energy we extend in
this world draws to it that same kind of energy. If we extend the force of
love, love returns to us. The American psychologist William James once said,
"My experience is what I agree to attend to. Only those items I notice
shape my mind." Perhaps this is partially how this law works -- opening to
the energy of love within us, we can notice it more specifically around us.
It happens on other levels as well. If we are committed in our lives
to the force of lovingkindness, then people know that they can trust us. They
know we will not deceive them; we will not harm them. By being a beacon of
trustworthiness in this world, we become a safe haven for others and a good
friend.
The next set of benefits the Buddha points out promises that if we
practice metta we will be protected. Devas, and other invisible beings, are
classically taught as part of the Buddhist cosmology, but we don't have to
believe in the intervention of invisible forces in order to comprehend how the
practice of metta protects us. This assertion does not mean being protected in
the sense that nothing bad will ever happen to us, because clearly the
vicissitudes of life are completely outside our control. Pleasure and pain, gain
and loss, praise and blame, and fame and ill repute will revolve throughout our
lives. But nevertheless we can be protected by the nature of how we receive,
how we hold that which our karma brings us.
Albert Einstein said, "The splitting of the atom has changed
everything except for how we think." How we think, how we look at our
lives, is all-important, and the degree of love we manifest determines the
degree of spaciousness and freedom we can bring to life's events.
Imagine taking a very small glass of water and putting into it a
teaspoon of salt. Because of the small size of the container, the teaspoon of
salt is going to have a big impact upon the water. However, if you approach a
much larger body of water, such as a lake, and put into it that same teaspoonful
of salt, it will not have the same intensity of impact, because of the vastness
and openness of the vessel receiving it. Even when the salt remains the same,
the spaciousness of the vessel receiving it changes everything.
We spend a lot of our lives looking for a feeling of safety or
protection; we try to alter the amount of salt that comes our way. Ironically,
the salt is the very thing that we cannot do anything about, as life changes
and offers us repeated ups and downs. Our true work is to create a container so
immense that any amount of salt, even a truckload, can come into it without
affecting our capacity to receive it. No situation, even an extreme one, then
can mandate a particular reaction.
Once I had a meditation student who had been a child in
Nazi-occupied Europe. She recounted an instance when she was around ten years
old when a German soldier held a gun to her chest -- a situation that would
readily arouse terror. Yet she related feeling no fear at all, thinking,
"You may be able to kill my body, but you can't kill me." What a
spacious reaction! It is in this way that lovingkindness opens the vastness of
mind in us, which is ultimately our greatest protection.
Another benefit of cultivating of metta is that one's face becomes
very clear and shining. This means that an unfeigned inner beauty shines forth.
We know in life situations how mind affects matter, how if we are enraged about
something, it shows in our face. If somebody is full of hatred, it shows in the
way they stand, the way they move, the way their jaw is set. It is not very
attractive. No amount of make-up, jewelry, or embellishments bring beauty to a
sullen, disgruntled, angry face. In just the same way, when someones mind is
filled with the rapture of lovingkindness or compassion, it is beautiful to see
the expression of light, of radiance, on their face and bearing.
With the practice of metta one also has a serene mind. The feeling
of lovingkindness generates great peace. This is the mind that can say,
"You are really a klutz, but I love you." It is a feeling endowed
with acceptance, patience, and spaciousness. This great peace allows union with
all of life, because we are not relying on changing circumstances for our
happiness.
The peace of metta offers the kind of happiness that gives us the
ability to concentrate. Serenity is the most important ingredient in being able
to be present or being able to concentrate the mind. Concentration is an act of
cherishing a chosen object. If we have no serenity, the mind will be scattered,
and we will not be able to gather in the energy that is being lost to
distraction. When we can concentrate, all of this energy is returned to us.
This is the potency that heals us.
If we practice metta, another major benefit is that we will die
unconfused. Our habitual ways of thinking, acting, and relating to life tend to
be the ones that are strongest at the time of death as well. If we spend a
lifetime feeling separate, apart, cultivating anger, giving way to frustration,
to fear, to desire, that will likely be the mental-emotional environment within
which we face our death. But if we have lived our life in a way that honors our
connectedness, reflects our oneness, and cultivates caring and giving, that is
likely to be how we will die.
The last specific benefit the Buddha spoke of was being reborn in
happy realms as a result of filling our hearts with lovingkindness. The
potential for rebirth again and again in various realms of pleasure or pain is
part of the Buddhist worldview. For someone who subscribes to this vision of
life, rebirth in a realm where one can attain liberation is most important. For
those who don't subscribe to this vision, the benefits of metta can surely be
seen to come to us in this lifetime.
Metta is the priceless treasure that enlivens us and brings us
into intimacy with ourselves and others. It is the force of love that will lead
beyond fragmentation, loneliness and fear. The late Hindu guru Neem Karoli Baba
often said, "Don't throw anyone out of your heart." One of the most
powerful healings (and greatest adventures) of our lifetime can come about as
we learn to live by this dictum.
Sharon Salzberg
