Forest
At Savatthi. Standing to one side, that devata recited this
verse
in the presence of the Blessed One:
"Those who dwell deep in the forest,
Peaceful, leading the holy life,
Eating but a single meal a day:
Why is their complexion so serene?"
[The Blessed One:]
"They do not sorrow over the past,
Nor do they hanker for the future.
They maintain themselves with what is present:
Hence their complexion is so serene.
"Through hankering for the future,
Through sorrowing over the past,
Fools dry up and wither away
Like a green
reed cut down."
* This verse was spoken by an earth-bound deva who dwelt in
that forest. Each day he would see the monks who inhabited the forest sitting
in meditation after their meal. As they sat, their minds would become unified
and serene, and the serenity of their minds would become manifest in their
complexion. * Puzzled that they could have such serene faces while living under
these austere conditions, the deva came to the Buddha to inquire into the
cause. The facial complexion or complexion of the skin is understood to indicate
success in meditation.
Why do monks living in the forest wilderness look so happy?
The Art of Now: Six Steps to Living in the Moment
A). You Are Not Your Thoughts
Life unfolds in the present. But so often, we let the
present slip away, allowing time to rush past unobserved and unseized, and
squandering the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and
ruminate about what's past. "We're living in a world that contributes in a
major way to mental fragmentation, disintegration, distraction,
de-coherence," says Buddhist scholar B. Alan Wallace. We're always doing
something, and we allow little time to practice stillness and calm.
-When we're at work, we fantasize about
being on vacation; on vacation, we worry about the work piling up on our desks.
We dwell on intrusive memories of the
past or fret about what may or may not happen in the future. We don't
appreciate the living present because our "monkey minds," as
Buddhists call them, vault from thought to thought like monkeys swinging from
tree to tree.
We need to live more in the moment. Living in the
moment—also called mindfulness—is a
state of active, open, intentional attention on the present. When you become
mindful, you realize that you are not your thoughts; you become an observer of
your thoughts from moment to moment without judging them. Mindfulness involves
being with your thoughts as they are, neither grasping at them nor pushing them
away. Instead of letting your life go by without living it, you awaken to
experience.
-Mindful people are happier, more exuberant, more
empathetic, and more secure. They have higher self-esteem and
are more accepting of their own weaknesses.
-Mindful people can hear negative feedback without feeling
threatened. They fight less with their romantic partners and are more
accommodating and less defensive. As a result, mindful couples have more
satisfying relationships.
1: To improve your performance, stop thinking about it
(unselfconsciousness)
That's the first paradox of living in the moment: Thinking
too hard about what you're doing actually makes you do worse. If you're in a
situation that makes you anxious—giving a speech, introducing yourself to a
stranger, dancing—focusing on your anxiety tends to
heighten it. "When I say, 'be here with me now,' I mean don't zone out or
get too in-your-head—instead, follow my energy, my movements," says
Hayden. "Focus less on what's going on in your mind and more on what's
going on in the room, less on your mental chatter and more on yourself as part
of something." To be most myself, I needed to focus on things outside
myself, like the music or the people around me.
-By reducing self-consciousness, mindfulness allows you to
witness the passing drama of feelings, social pressures, even of being esteemed
or disparaged by others without taking their evaluations personally, explain
Richard Ryan and K. W. Brown of the University of Rochester. When you focus on
your immediate experience without attaching it to your self-esteem, unpleasant
events like social rejection—or your so-called friends making fun of your
dancing—seem less threatening.
2: To avoid worrying about the future, focus on the
present (savoring)
-Often, we're so trapped in thoughts of the future or the
past that we forget to experience, let alone enjoy, what's happening right now.
We sip coffee and think, "This is not as good as what I had last week."
We eat a cookie and think, "I hope I don't run out of cookies.“
-Why does living in the moment make people happier—not just
at the moment they're tasting molten chocolate pooling on their tongue, but
lastingly? Because most negative thoughts concern the past or the future. As
Mark Twain said, "I have known a great many troubles, but most of them
never happened." The hallmark of depression and anxiety is
catastrophizing—worrying about something that hasn't happened yet and might not
happen at all. Worry, by its very nature, means
thinking about the future—and if you hoist yourself into awareness of the
present moment, worrying melts away.
-The flip side of worrying is ruminating, thinking bleakly
about events in the past. And again, if you press your focus into the now,
rumination ceases. Savoring forces you into the present, so you can't worry
about things that aren't there.
3: If you want a future with your significant other, inhabit
the present (breathe)
-How does being in the moment make you less aggressive?
"Mindfulness decreases ego involvement," explains Kernis. "So
people are less likely to link their self-esteem to events and more likely to
take things at face value." Mindfulness also makes people feel more
connected to other people—that empathic feeling of being "at one with the
universe.“
-Mindfulness boosts your awareness of how you interpret and
react to what's happening in your mind. It increases the gap between emotional
impulse and action, allowing you to do what Buddhists call recognizing the
spark before the flame.
-Focusing on the present reboots your mind so you can
respond thoughtfully rather than automatically. Instead of lashing out in anger, backing down
in fear, or
mindlessly indulging a passing craving, you get the opportunity to say to
yourself, "This is the emotion I'm feeling. How should I respond?“
-There's a simple exercise you can do anywhere, anytime to
induce mindfulness: Breathe. For many, focusing on the breath is the preferred
method of orienting themselves to the now—not because the breath has some
magical property, but because it's always there with you.
4: To make the most of time, lose track of it (flow)
-Perhaps the most complete way of living in the moment is
the state of total absorption psychologists call flow. Flow occurs when you're
so engrossed in a task that you lose track of everything else around you. Flow embodies
an apparent paradox: How can you be living in the moment if you're not even
aware of the moment? The depth of engagement absorbs you powerfully, keeping
attention so focused that distractions cannot penetrate. You focus so intensely
on what you're doing that you're unaware of the passage of time. Hours can pass
without you noticing.
-To set the stage for flow, goals need to
be clearly defined so that you always know your next step. "It could be
playing the next bar in a scroll of music, or finding the next foothold if
you're a rock climber, or turning the page if you're reading a good
novel," says Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the psychologist who first defined
the concept of flow. "At the same time, you're kind of anticipating.“
-As your attentional focus narrows, self-consciousness
evaporates. You feel as if your awareness merges with the action you're
performing. You feel a sense of personal mastery over the situation, and the
activity is so intrinsically rewarding that although the task is difficult,
action feels effortless.
5: If something is bothering you, move toward it rather than
away from it (acceptance)
-The mind's natural tendency when faced with pain is to attempt
to avoid it—by trying to resist unpleasant thoughts, feelings, and sensations.
But in many cases, negative feelings and situations can't be avoided—and
resisting them only magnifies the pain.
-The problem is we have not just primary emotions but also
secondary ones—emotions about other emotions. We get stressed out and then
think, "I wish I weren't so stressed out." The primary emotion is
stress over your workload. The secondary emotion is feeling, "I hate being
stressed."
-It doesn't have to be this way. The solution is
acceptance—letting the emotion be there. That is, being open to the way things
are in each moment without trying to manipulate or change the
experience—without judging it, clinging to it, or pushing it away. The present
moment can only be as it is. Trying to change it only frustrates and exhausts
you. Acceptance relieves you of this needless extra suffering.
-If you feel anxiety, for instance, you can accept the
feeling, label it as anxiety—then direct your attention to something else
instead. You watch your thoughts, perceptions, and emotions flit through your
mind without getting involved. Thoughts are just thoughts. You don't have to
believe them and you don't have to do what they say.
6: Know that you don't know (engagement)
-You've probably had the experience of driving along a
highway only to suddenly realize you have no memory or awareness of the
previous 15 minutes. Maybe you even missed your exit. You just zoned out; you
were somewhere else, and it's as if you've suddenly woken up at the wheel. Or
maybe it happens when you're reading a book: "I know I just read that
page, but I have no idea what it said."
-These autopilot moments are what Harvard's Ellen Langer
calls mindlessness—times when you're so lost in your thoughts that you aren't
aware of your present experience. As a result, life passes you by without
registering on you. The best way to avoid such blackouts, Langer says, is to
develop the habit of always noticing new things in whatever situation you're
in. That process creates engagement with the present moment and releases a
cascade of other benefits. Noticing new things puts you emphatically in the
here and now.
-We become mindless, Langer explains, because once we think
we know something, we stop paying attention to it. We go about our morning
commute in a haze because we've trod the same route a hundred times before. But
if we see the world with fresh eyes, we realize almost everything is different
each time—the pattern of light on the buildings, the faces of the people, even
the sensations and feelings we experience along the way. Noticing imbues each
moment with a new, fresh quality. Some people have termed this "beginner's
mind."
-By acquiring the habit of noticing new things, says Langer,
we recognize that the world is actually changing constantly. We really don't
know how the espresso is going to taste or how the commute will be—or at least,
we're not sure.
-"When we're there at the moment, making it new,
it leaves an imprint in the music we play, the things we write, the art we
create, in everything we do," says Langer. "Once you recognize that
you don't know the things you've always taken for granted, you set out of the
house quite differently. It becomes an adventure in noticing—and the more you
notice, the more you see." And the more excitement you feel.
B). Don't Just Do
Something, Sit There
- You can become
mindful at any moment just by paying attention to your immediate experience.
You can do it right now. What's happening this instant? Think of yourself as an
eternal witness, and just observe the moment. What do you see, hear, smell? It doesn't
matter how it feels—pleasant or unpleasant, good or bad—you roll with it
because it's what's present; you're not judging it. And if you notice
your mind
wandering, bring yourself back. Just say to yourself, "Now. Now.
Now."
- Here's the most
fundamental paradox of all: Mindfulness isn't a goal, because goals are about
the future, but you do have to set the intention of paying attention to what's
happening at the present moment. As you read the words printed on this page, as
your eyes distinguish the black squiggles on white paper, as you feel gravity
anchoring you to the planet, wake up. Become aware of being alive. And breathe.
As you draw your next breath, focus on the rise of your abdomen on the
in-breath, the stream of heat through your nostrils on the out-breath. If
you're aware of that feeling right now, as you're reading this, you're living
in the moment. Nothing happens next. It's not a destination. This is it. You're
already there.
No comments:
Post a Comment